I look better un-naked...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
