Pappa wants mamma naked
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
