Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The air was thick with penises
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
