Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
