Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Dignity is for republicans.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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