I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
