You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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