talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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