the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
