Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
