u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
