Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
it's like iHOP with fire
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
