brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
