She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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