But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
