You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
