i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
