weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
