It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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