And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
