I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
