woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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