she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
