i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
