just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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