ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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