Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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