i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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