He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
