Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
