The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
