What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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