I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
They took my balls.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
