I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
