That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She's the barista slut.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
