I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
