haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
