Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
