in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
