I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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