He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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