So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
