wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
