Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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