please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
