I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
