i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
