1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
