she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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