all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
